even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
