My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Even my vagina gasped.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
