If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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