It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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