Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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