youre lurking in front of me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
