Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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