Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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