im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
