apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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