You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
