U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
