Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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