told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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