Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
