He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
cat food counts as protein by the way
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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