i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
