It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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