i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
