Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
