im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
