he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
