ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
