I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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