If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
