do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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