By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
