Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
