My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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