My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i love accidental penises.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
