God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just had sex on a roof
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
