census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just tell him i said nine months
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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