this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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