so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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