i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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