when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
3pm strippers are depressing
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
