dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
