you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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