I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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