Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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