I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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