Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize