you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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