i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
