why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We need to get me chipped asap
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
