bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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