How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
