friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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