i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
