I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
