hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
