Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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