Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
