We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
