we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
